And Now, the End is Near, and so I’ve reached the Final Curtain…
by Joel Getman
Awww..it’s not as bad as all that. We’re just nearing the end of a magnificent golf season
at the Northport Golf Club. The weather couldn’t have been better this past summer (a
bit more rain might have been welcome) and the course conditions were magnificent.
Congratulations to first year superintendent Mario Linardo and his crew (i.e. family) for
keeping Northport in such great shape.
With the course set to close in just a few weeks, Your Humble Blogger thought it would
be a good idea to offer up some ideas designed to help avid golfers get through the
upcoming Maine winter and survive until we can all tee it up again next April.
You’re welcome.
1. Cut off all contact and communication with your golf clubs. Store them in a cool,
dark place, preferably a place you are never likely to frequent. If you must enter
that space, try to wear a blindfold. Again, you’re welcome.
2. If you must maintain contact with your clubs over the winter, try to do so in a non-
golfing manner. For example, place your 7-iron beside you on the couch while
watching tv, or prop your 3-wood next to your dining room chair during dinner.
This way you are golf-adjacent without actually performing any golf motions.
Believe me, it’s better this way. Less yearning.
3. Learn a new indoor activity to pass the long, dark hours from November to April.
Some people like to read by the fire. (note: this activity only works if you have a
fireplace) Your Humble Blogger recommends that if reading is your chosen winter
activity, you avoid all books about golf. The longing can be too intense. Local
libraries are filled with books that have nothing to do with golf and librarians are
eager to help.
4. Try a new hobby, say learning how to mull wine for example. Your Humble
Blogger has absolutely no idea what mulling wine involves but it sounds like it
might take all winter to learn so there’s that.
There are literally thousands of other activities the avid golfer can use to distract him/her
self from golf during the winter. There is SNOWSHOEING, which is basically walking in
snow; there is CROSS-COUNTRY SKIING, which is more aptly named CROSS-
COUNTRY FALLING; and, of course, there is CURLING, which is basically golf on ice
with giant rocks.
However, for some of you the urge, the NEED, to play golf during the winter will be too
great. Like pilgrims making their way to The Grand Mosque in Mecca, some of you will
pack up your clubs and sunscreen and head to Florida. Most of you will try to get as far
south as you can, (Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, perhaps Sarasota or Ft. Myers); however, if I
may, let me put in a plug for the Florida Panhandle, which is the part of the northern
Gulf of Mexico which extends from Pensacola on the west about 100 miles to Panama
City on the east. This is where Your Humble Blogger spends his time from November to
May.
The beauty of this part of Florida is it is far less crowded in the winter than the other
more familiar parts. There are numerous public golf courses to suit every taste. The Gulf
beaches are beautiful with emerald green, clear, sparkling water and fine, white sand.
Maybe the Panhandle’s most alluring quality, especially for hardy Mainers, is that for
much of the winter it’s freaking cold. Not 30 degree cold, but many days in the 40’s and
low 50’s. You’ll feel right at home when you take to the links in your plaid golf shorts
while locals are bundled up in their golf parkas and wool balaclavas. Heck, just last year
Destin, FL got six inches of snow. Your Humble Blogger was almost tempted to get out
and shovel, except he remembered he didn’t own one.
Playing golf in the cold is not only invigorating; it eases the guilt of leaving your
neighbors behind.
So we hope we’ve given you a few strategies and tips to help you make it to the next
glorious Northport Golf Club season.
Stay warm everybody.